The numbers don’t lie—but they do laugh hysterically Nvidia just posted a $44.1 billion quarter, up 69% YoY, because apparently, the world can’t get enough of overpriced AI infrastructure. Jensen Huang’s grin must be so wide it’s causing GPU shortages just from the reflected light.
The Good, the Bad, and the $4.5B Export Fiasco
- Data Center revenue ($39.1B, up 73%): Because nothing says “AI revolution” like burning cash on Blackwell NVL72 supercomputers.
- Gaming ($3.8B, up 42%): RTX 5070 leaks suggest Nvidia’s still milking gamers dry while pretending DLSS 4 is “innovation.”
- China export restrictions: A $4.5B charge because geopolitics > shareholder happiness.
The Real Story? AI Is Just Expensive Guesswork
Nvidia’s Q2 outlook ($45B) proves one thing: AI is infrastructure now, meaning countries and corporations are dumping money into it like drunk gamblers at a blackjack table. Meanwhile, AI inference token generation is up 10x—because why think when you can brute-force compute? 🤖
The Bottom Line
Nvidia’s winning, but the rest of us? Stuck paying for AI’s “sure, maybe someday” promises. “But hey, at least the Switch 2 has DLSS!” 🎮